When Divorce Is an Opportunity
In
Sweden, progressive gender dynamics can lead immigrant women to leave their
husbands and become independent.
Sweden, progressive gender dynamics can lead immigrant women to leave their
husbands and become independent.
Anders
Veide looks on as his friend Set Moklint plays with his child during paternity
leave in Stockholm, Sweden. Jonathan Nackstrand / AFP / Getty
Veide looks on as his friend Set Moklint plays with his child during paternity
leave in Stockholm, Sweden. Jonathan Nackstrand / AFP / Getty
STOCKHOLM—Sweden
has the reputation of being one of the best
countries in the world for gender equality. The women’s employment
rate in Sweden is the highest
in the European Union, and is nearly equal to the men’s employment rate. Nearly 90 percent
of Swedish fathers take paternity leave—it is not unusual to see men pushing
baby carriages alone in the city.
has the reputation of being one of the best
countries in the world for gender equality. The women’s employment
rate in Sweden is the highest
in the European Union, and is nearly equal to the men’s employment rate. Nearly 90 percent
of Swedish fathers take paternity leave—it is not unusual to see men pushing
baby carriages alone in the city.
This can
be disconcerting for the hundreds of thousands of immigrants who have arrived
in Sweden in recent years—163,000 new immigrants arrived in the country of 9
million in 2016 alone. Although Sweden has lately reversed
its open-door migration policy, the country for a long time admitted the most asylum-seekers
per capita in Europe. Many of these refugees and other immigrants to Sweden
come from countries like Somalia and Iraq, where gender roles are more uneven:
Men tend to work and women tend to raise families. In Sweden, though,
women—even immigrants—are expected by the government to work. The government
offers free Swedish language classes and job placement counselors to
immigrants, and launched a program in 2017 aimed at reducing unemployment
among foreign-born women. In the immigrant-heavy suburb of Rinkeby, for
instance, I ran into a man named Adam Hassan, who was an accountant in Ethiopia
until migrating to Sweden with his wife three years ago. He got a job in a
supermarket, she got a job in a school, and now, during the day, he watches
their baby son, pushing him around in a stroller. “There, the mother takes care
of the kids, and the man brings in money,” he told me placidly. “It’s different
here.”
be disconcerting for the hundreds of thousands of immigrants who have arrived
in Sweden in recent years—163,000 new immigrants arrived in the country of 9
million in 2016 alone. Although Sweden has lately reversed
its open-door migration policy, the country for a long time admitted the most asylum-seekers
per capita in Europe. Many of these refugees and other immigrants to Sweden
come from countries like Somalia and Iraq, where gender roles are more uneven:
Men tend to work and women tend to raise families. In Sweden, though,
women—even immigrants—are expected by the government to work. The government
offers free Swedish language classes and job placement counselors to
immigrants, and launched a program in 2017 aimed at reducing unemployment
among foreign-born women. In the immigrant-heavy suburb of Rinkeby, for
instance, I ran into a man named Adam Hassan, who was an accountant in Ethiopia
until migrating to Sweden with his wife three years ago. He got a job in a
supermarket, she got a job in a school, and now, during the day, he watches
their baby son, pushing him around in a stroller. “There, the mother takes care
of the kids, and the man brings in money,” he told me placidly. “It’s different
here.”
Not all
immigrants find it as easy as Hassan does to adjust to Sweden’s gender norms.
And that may be contributing to a high divorce rate in Sweden among immigrants
from more traditionally patriarchal countries, compared to native-born Swedes,
according to Merhdad Darvishpour, a sociologist at Malarden University who himself
immigrated from Iran. (Iranians are one of the largest minorities in Sweden.
Many of them arrived in the country in the 1980s.) In a recent study
of women in Sweden who had been married at least once, 28 percent of people
born to Swedish parents had divorced within 15 years of first getting married;
that share was much higher for immigrant women from more patriarchal countries.
(The study looked at women who had first been married between 1983 and 2007.)
Nearly 60 percent of women from the countries in the Horn of Africa, 53 percent
of women from sub-Saharan Africa, and 48 percent of women from Iran had
divorced in Sweden within 15 years of getting married. Overall, women from the
Horn of Africa were 2.24 times more likely to get divorced than women born to
Swedish parents, and women from Iran were 2.15 times more likely, the study
showed. Women from other countries where gender norms are similar to those in
Sweden had much lower chances of getting divorced—immigrants from Western
Europe living in Sweden were actually less likely to get divorced than Swedes,
for example.
immigrants find it as easy as Hassan does to adjust to Sweden’s gender norms.
And that may be contributing to a high divorce rate in Sweden among immigrants
from more traditionally patriarchal countries, compared to native-born Swedes,
according to Merhdad Darvishpour, a sociologist at Malarden University who himself
immigrated from Iran. (Iranians are one of the largest minorities in Sweden.
Many of them arrived in the country in the 1980s.) In a recent study
of women in Sweden who had been married at least once, 28 percent of people
born to Swedish parents had divorced within 15 years of first getting married;
that share was much higher for immigrant women from more patriarchal countries.
(The study looked at women who had first been married between 1983 and 2007.)
Nearly 60 percent of women from the countries in the Horn of Africa, 53 percent
of women from sub-Saharan Africa, and 48 percent of women from Iran had
divorced in Sweden within 15 years of getting married. Overall, women from the
Horn of Africa were 2.24 times more likely to get divorced than women born to
Swedish parents, and women from Iran were 2.15 times more likely, the study
showed. Women from other countries where gender norms are similar to those in
Sweden had much lower chances of getting divorced—immigrants from Western
Europe living in Sweden were actually less likely to get divorced than Swedes,
for example.
The
divorce rates for immigrants in Sweden seem especially high when compared to
the divorce rates in their home countries. In Iran, for example, about 20 percent
of marriages now end in divorce, while 48 percent of Iranian women in Sweden
had divorced within 15 years of marriage, according to the study. Another study
showed that just 25 percent of women ages 15-49 in sub-Saharan Africa had
divorced within their first 20 years of marriage (though the rates varied
dramatically by country), as opposed
to the 70 percent of sub-Saharan women living in Sweden who had divorced within
15 years of marriage. That the divorce rates are higher in Sweden may not be
solely due to women’s higher workforce participation. In many patriarchal
countries, divorce is less accepted, and it can be legally more difficult to
get divorced. In Sweden, on the other hand, divorce is socially more
acceptable, and more feasible.
divorce rates for immigrants in Sweden seem especially high when compared to
the divorce rates in their home countries. In Iran, for example, about 20 percent
of marriages now end in divorce, while 48 percent of Iranian women in Sweden
had divorced within 15 years of marriage, according to the study. Another study
showed that just 25 percent of women ages 15-49 in sub-Saharan Africa had
divorced within their first 20 years of marriage (though the rates varied
dramatically by country), as opposed
to the 70 percent of sub-Saharan women living in Sweden who had divorced within
15 years of marriage. That the divorce rates are higher in Sweden may not be
solely due to women’s higher workforce participation. In many patriarchal
countries, divorce is less accepted, and it can be legally more difficult to
get divorced. In Sweden, on the other hand, divorce is socially more
acceptable, and more feasible.
Often,
divorce is seen as a negative development. When families split up, children can
find it difficult to adjust emotionally. Women and men who had depended on being
a two-income household struggle with the new financial realities of single
life. Divorce can also be lonely and isolating. But for women in Sweden who
have migrated from more patriarchal countries, divorce may not be as negative,
Darvishpour told me. “Maybe divorce is not a problem,” he said. “Maybe it’s an
opportunity.”
divorce is seen as a negative development. When families split up, children can
find it difficult to adjust emotionally. Women and men who had depended on being
a two-income household struggle with the new financial realities of single
life. Divorce can also be lonely and isolating. But for women in Sweden who
have migrated from more patriarchal countries, divorce may not be as negative,
Darvishpour told me. “Maybe divorce is not a problem,” he said. “Maybe it’s an
opportunity.”
Arriving
in a country like Sweden can reshape dynamics between the men and women who
make the journey, he says. Men who dominated their families because they had
the economic power in their home countries lose that power when they integrate
into a more gender-equal country like Sweden. They react to this loss of power
in two ways, according to Darvishpour—they either adjust to their loss of power
and accept being more equal with their wives, as Hassan did, or they try to
reassert their lost power. In some cases, women submit to this. In others, they
resist it, which can lead to divorce.
in a country like Sweden can reshape dynamics between the men and women who
make the journey, he says. Men who dominated their families because they had
the economic power in their home countries lose that power when they integrate
into a more gender-equal country like Sweden. They react to this loss of power
in two ways, according to Darvishpour—they either adjust to their loss of power
and accept being more equal with their wives, as Hassan did, or they try to
reassert their lost power. In some cases, women submit to this. In others, they
resist it, which can lead to divorce.
Women
from patriarchal societies, after all, gain power when they integrate into a
country like Sweden. There are more economic opportunities for them relative to
their home countries, and resources for women’s rights are more developed—it’s
easier for a woman to divorce her husband, or to live on her own, for example.
The welfare system is also extensive in Sweden, meaning that even women of low
socioeconomic status can leave their husbands with no jobs and receive low-cost
health care, education, job training, and a stipend from the government. In
Denmark, a country similar to Sweden because it has an extensive safety net and
many opportunities for women, immigrant women initiated divorce more than men
did, and the welfare state was instrumental in “liberating women and children
from life in dysfunctional families,” a 2015 study
found. (This safety net is less extensive in the United States, which may be
one reason why divorce rates of immigrants are still lower
than that of the native-born population.)
from patriarchal societies, after all, gain power when they integrate into a
country like Sweden. There are more economic opportunities for them relative to
their home countries, and resources for women’s rights are more developed—it’s
easier for a woman to divorce her husband, or to live on her own, for example.
The welfare system is also extensive in Sweden, meaning that even women of low
socioeconomic status can leave their husbands with no jobs and receive low-cost
health care, education, job training, and a stipend from the government. In
Denmark, a country similar to Sweden because it has an extensive safety net and
many opportunities for women, immigrant women initiated divorce more than men
did, and the welfare state was instrumental in “liberating women and children
from life in dysfunctional families,” a 2015 study
found. (This safety net is less extensive in the United States, which may be
one reason why divorce rates of immigrants are still lower
than that of the native-born population.)
Another paper
studying six Iranian divorcees who had arrived in Sweden still married found
that men adjusted more slowly to new gender norms than women did. One male
interviewee whose wife had left him told interviewers that she started changing
once she began attending Swedish for Foreigners, a class in which immigrants
learn the local language and customs. “She started behaving like a rival or
business partner, trying to confirm her share in everything,” he told an
interviewer. Another Iranian immigrant told interviewers that she and her
husband started fighting when she began making more money than he did in Sweden,
and asked him to start contributing equally in terms of childcare and other
household duties, but he refused. “The change in power relations can intensify
the problems in bad relationships,” Darvishpour said.
studying six Iranian divorcees who had arrived in Sweden still married found
that men adjusted more slowly to new gender norms than women did. One male
interviewee whose wife had left him told interviewers that she started changing
once she began attending Swedish for Foreigners, a class in which immigrants
learn the local language and customs. “She started behaving like a rival or
business partner, trying to confirm her share in everything,” he told an
interviewer. Another Iranian immigrant told interviewers that she and her
husband started fighting when she began making more money than he did in Sweden,
and asked him to start contributing equally in terms of childcare and other
household duties, but he refused. “The change in power relations can intensify
the problems in bad relationships,” Darvishpour said.
Some
women in Sweden prefer not to work. After a decade in Sweden, just 64 percent
of migrant women were working, compared to 80 percent of native Swedes,
according to a 2014 report
funded by the European Union. But in his own study of Iranian immigrants to
Sweden, Darvishpour found that men often find immigration more challenging than
women do. Many of the men he spoke to had good jobs in their home countries,
and were often unemployed in Sweden, or working jobs that they were
overqualified for. They suddenly had a lower status than they did back home.
The women he spoke to, on the other hand, did not have as many economic
opportunities in their home countries, so they had little change in status when
they arrived in Sweden. If they hadn’t been working at home, nothing changed
when they arrived; if they had been working and found a job when they arrived,
they became better off in Sweden.
women in Sweden prefer not to work. After a decade in Sweden, just 64 percent
of migrant women were working, compared to 80 percent of native Swedes,
according to a 2014 report
funded by the European Union. But in his own study of Iranian immigrants to
Sweden, Darvishpour found that men often find immigration more challenging than
women do. Many of the men he spoke to had good jobs in their home countries,
and were often unemployed in Sweden, or working jobs that they were
overqualified for. They suddenly had a lower status than they did back home.
The women he spoke to, on the other hand, did not have as many economic
opportunities in their home countries, so they had little change in status when
they arrived in Sweden. If they hadn’t been working at home, nothing changed
when they arrived; if they had been working and found a job when they arrived,
they became better off in Sweden.
One woman
told Darvishpour that she had wanted to divorce her husband in Iran because she
didn’t love him, but was worried about supporting her child if she left him. “After
immigration, I discovered, however, that I had the possibility to stand on my
own legs, creating a new life where I could make my own decisions,” she told
him. After one year in Sweden, she filed for divorce.
told Darvishpour that she had wanted to divorce her husband in Iran because she
didn’t love him, but was worried about supporting her child if she left him. “After
immigration, I discovered, however, that I had the possibility to stand on my
own legs, creating a new life where I could make my own decisions,” she told
him. After one year in Sweden, she filed for divorce.
There are
trends in Sweden that may make this emboldening of immigrant women more
difficult in the future. Sweden has limited some
of the welfare benefits available to asylum-seekers—people whose asylum
applications are denied no longer receive a monthly cash benefit, and paid
parental leave for immigrants has been reduced. With less of a safety net,
women may be less inclined to take the risk of leaving their husbands.
trends in Sweden that may make this emboldening of immigrant women more
difficult in the future. Sweden has limited some
of the welfare benefits available to asylum-seekers—people whose asylum
applications are denied no longer receive a monthly cash benefit, and paid
parental leave for immigrants has been reduced. With less of a safety net,
women may be less inclined to take the risk of leaving their husbands.
In
addition, segregation in Sweden—with immigrants concentrated in places like the
suburbs of Stockholm and the industrial town of Malmo—can limit how much
immigrant communities are influenced by Swedish gender norms. I talked to a
Kurdish refugee named Sevi—she didn’t want to give her last name for fear of
retribution from her neighbors—who said that in the segregated suburb of Husby
where she lives, she is expected to obey traditional Kurdish cultural norms.
Men loiter outside apartment complexes and harass women who aren’t wearing veils
or who come home late, she said.
addition, segregation in Sweden—with immigrants concentrated in places like the
suburbs of Stockholm and the industrial town of Malmo—can limit how much
immigrant communities are influenced by Swedish gender norms. I talked to a
Kurdish refugee named Sevi—she didn’t want to give her last name for fear of
retribution from her neighbors—who said that in the segregated suburb of Husby
where she lives, she is expected to obey traditional Kurdish cultural norms.
Men loiter outside apartment complexes and harass women who aren’t wearing veils
or who come home late, she said.
“Unfortunately,
there is too much segregation now,” Amineh Kakabaveh, a Swedish member of
Parliament who came to Sweden as an Iranian Kurdish refugee, told me. Kakabaveh
was able to benefit from Sweden’s attitudes toward women—once she arrived in
the country, she got an education, ran for office, and put off marriage, things
that would have been difficult to do back home. But she worries that other
women won’t have the same opportunities in the Sweden of the future.
there is too much segregation now,” Amineh Kakabaveh, a Swedish member of
Parliament who came to Sweden as an Iranian Kurdish refugee, told me. Kakabaveh
was able to benefit from Sweden’s attitudes toward women—once she arrived in
the country, she got an education, ran for office, and put off marriage, things
that would have been difficult to do back home. But she worries that other
women won’t have the same opportunities in the Sweden of the future.
Still,
for many women who come to Sweden, the country does represent a chance at
independence. Many of Sweden’s recent immigrants have been asylum-seekers from
unstable regions in Asia and Africa. They arrive in Sweden to escape the
terrors of their old lives, and find a completely new world, where they’re
expected to adapt to new norms about gender and work. Some asylum-seekers,
especially men, may resist these changes and cling to the old world for as long
as they can. But for many women, Sweden represents a new beginning.
for many women who come to Sweden, the country does represent a chance at
independence. Many of Sweden’s recent immigrants have been asylum-seekers from
unstable regions in Asia and Africa. They arrive in Sweden to escape the
terrors of their old lives, and find a completely new world, where they’re
expected to adapt to new norms about gender and work. Some asylum-seekers,
especially men, may resist these changes and cling to the old world for as long
as they can. But for many women, Sweden represents a new beginning.
