The impact of polygamy is devastating for the women and children impacted. The bottom line is that polygamy is illegal in Canada. It is not a tenet of our faith. The families that I have worked with are devastated by this practice- women are being coerced and assaulted and they are getting sick- depression anxiety physical and sexual assault.

CCMW has written a position paper on this. Our position paper explains at great length the harm this practice causes for women and children in families and the illegitimacy of the practice within our faith as well as in Canada. Equality means full rights as a citizen in the matters of the state, as well as equality within the family. The practice of polygamy is inherently harmful to women and children. There is no doubt about that.

It must be stopped.

The practice is defended as a religious right and explained as equivalent to a common-law relationship. A religious right- it was intended as a protection for women in patriarchal societies with tribal customs. There is no room for this in this day and age. There is no justification.

This is an indication of the crisis in leadership we are facing with some scholars. The practice is being justified and used to issue spiritual licenses to have sexual relations. 

The excuses I have heard are, “his wife is too busy with the children”, ”she is no longer attractive”, or “he is addicted to pornography- the best thing to do is to get a second wife”. 

This is not objectification of women? This is fairness? This is not exploitation?

Women are being told to accept it as their religious duty and that it is mandated by our faith? This is not true!

Women are not coming forward for fear and the stigma and humiliation they face. Some are coerced and forced with emotional and physical abuse. Some are financially dependent and do not understand their family law rights. Some are forced to sign contracts to accept this under fear of divorce, losing their children- especially their sons and financial support. Others are threatened to keep quiet and do so out of fear for their safety.

How do we address the issue of second wives:

Many women that I have spoken with do not know they are second wives or “secret wives” some do not know that they are not legally married or that their marriages have not been registered or performed by registered marriage officiants. Many do not know that they are possibly breaking the law.

The responsibility is on the Imams that conduct Nikahs to ensure that they have conducted their due diligence and are only performing marriages in accordance with the laws of this country. They must ask for and review the Nikah documents, the marriage licence and ensure the marriage is registered.

Women must speak up and when they do, they must be supported.

For decades the Canadian Council of Muslim Women has been advocating for the protection of the rights of Canadian Muslim Women. We are also believing women- we believe that our rights are protected by both our religion and the laws of this country.

— Sabha Hazai, a lawyer practicing in Ontario and a member of the national board of the Canadian Council of Muslim Women

We are currently engaged in our Muslim Women’s Family Law Rights Project to address the ongoing and urgent need of Canadian Muslim Women to understand their right under Canadian Family Laws as distinct from any application of Muslim Family laws in Canada.

The project will provide accurate information on both Muslim and Canadian Family lass by the development of materials by experts in family laws to be presented in training sessions across the country to women and girls.

The information will be helpful to professionals and Muslim religious leaders who are involved in providing legal information to women and families.

CCMW’s Family Laws & Legal Rights project is funded by the Law Foundation of Ontario and aims to address the ongoing and urgent need of Canadian Muslim women to understand their rights under Canadian family laws as distinct from any application of Muslim family laws in Canada. The project will provide accurate information on both Muslim and Canadian family laws by the development of materials by experts in family laws, to be presented in training sessions across the country to women and girls.

The materials developed will be helpful to professionals and Muslim religious leaders who are involved in providing legal information to these women. This project will make a meaningful impact as this is a novel, innovative project which will result in positive outcomes for women and their families.

Intended outcomes:

Increased number of Canadian Muslim women who will have accurate knowledge of both Canadian and Muslim family laws. This will be assessed by using pre- and post evaluations with the Train the Trainer workshops and knowledge sharing workshops.

Increased understanding of the issues faced by Canadian Muslim women by women themselves and professionals who will assist them. This will be done using pre and post evaluations with the Train the Trainer workshops and knowledge sharing workshops.

Increased access to justice through the video and other resources on CCMW’s website in English and French to show sustainably.

My advice to young Canadian Muslim Women:

Be yourself. Define yourself. You are in charge of who you are. You are not what happened to you. You are not a product. You are not a commodity.

You are not your father’s honour. You are a blessing from Allah. You are not your husband’s honour. You are your husband’s equal companion and confidante. You are not your brother’s honour. You are equal to your brother. You have an equal right to education and your family’s resources. You are not your son’s “honour”. You are your son’s life source. Reclaim your identity. Don’t let others dictate your purpose. Don’t let others decide your worth or your contributions. 

Raise your self-worth in your own eyes- practice a little every day. Become aware of how you think about yourself. Become aware of the conversations you have with yourself. 

You are not submissive and you are not weak. You are not the caricature you see reflected in the media. You deserve a place of respect in your family, in your community and in your country.

Reclaim your identity and reclaim your faith. The peace you seek is within you. Reclaim your faith by engaging in constructive dialogue with those who don’t understand your gender, identity, religion or your spirituality. Engage in learning about your faith. Search for the deeper meanings of the scriptures and reclaim your Islamic History and beauty in the teachings. It is there. It is a journey. Your personal journey. Spiritual equality is your God given right. 

My advice to young women who are caught in middle is to continue to communicate with people they trust about what they are experiencing. My request to the administrators of our mosques and mainstream service providers is please and foremost see the women who are accessing your services as human beings. See them with compassion and respect their wishes to practice their faith. Don’t judge and don’t condemn based on your own fears. Resist the fear mongering. Mosques please continue to open your doors to everyone not just those who look like your congregation. Let’s not judge each other. Let the women who wear Hijab wear it as an expression of their faith and respect their wishes. For the women who do not visibly identify as Muslims- who don’t wear the hijab- please don’t judge them either- we all have something positive to contribute to this discourse and to this country.

— Sabha Hazai